Took me awhile to log in because i couldn't remember which password i put for this.

The past three weeks haven't been good, especially this week.
I really shouldn't even have started, but since i did, it's been an uphill task getting out of it.
I need to recover, and not to just simply walk off this bloody whole shit now and lose everything.
Will i lose more or will i just gain some back? Majority says lose, while i'm the only one remaining optimistic.
Gambling really jeopardises everything, including my relationship. Really feel like walking out of it, because this really hampers happiness and i don't want to supply a future short of happiness.
Indeed, money makes the world go round, while concurrently i'm making the money world go round ; and at the same time turning my own world round, but in a reverse direction.

I remember i know of a girl in secondary school from katong convent, she's rebellious, slutty, hell of a troublemaker, yeah just insert all the negative bad descriptions, you can say she's the epitome. After Os, she disappeared, closed her friendster account, cut away every single contact she has, changed her number, moved house. No one knew where is she, how is she, for a couple of years. Recently she added me on facebook, i read her blog, and could tell she's a totally changed person.
Maybe that's a good way to start over anew. Destroy all bad roots, replant your seeds, you'll have a good chance growing into a prettier tree.

i'm tired.

FUCKKK IM GETTING SO FAT. it's damn demoralising when i see FB having some of my half naked pics and lumps of fats protruding out everywhere. HAHAHA.
lol it's damn stupid i know, but stupid things are amusing stuff to blog about rightt.

The streaming session's ongoing now, and i haven't chose my electives for my specialisation yet.
i'm just not really ready to path out my future , my strengths are indistinct and my interests are questionable even till now, and i'm nineteen already.
i hate to be put amongst options and having to decide on one of them when it involes a gamble on my future.
corporate communication, finance, human resource, marketing, entrepreneurship, tourism...
frankly speaking i've only shown slender interests in corp comm and finance, but bloody hell there's no combination of corp comm & finance ):
sighhhhh.

i've till wed to make a decision. please pull me through thisss.


on another note,
it's depressing to see conflicts amongst friends, break-ups here and there, ahhh what's next?
stay strong my friends <3




oh yeah it's so shiok having someone who loves me more than i love her. though i really love her alot alr.
hehehehehehe see you tmr!

Time flies when you are heavily involved everyday in your life and after sometime, you will feel that you have shortchanged yourself, in a way that you do not do enough in life to yield substantially and cover the time that has passed.
It gets worse when you slowly drift yourself away from things which are precious to you, you get busy until the extent that time gradually eats away those things from you and eventually, you lose them.
One of such things is friendship.

Recently, i've been in deep thoughts whenever i'm alone at home, during times when i'm trying to sleep, during times when i'm travelling, during times when i'm bored in class.
-Friendship.
I remember last week, it came to a point whichby i almost made a decision to take a break from everything.
I need to sort things out. I've gained happiness, but i'm losing friends.
Not just ordinary friends, i'm talking about close ones. For instance, my class clique, we've separated, we're drifting apart, and i'm spiritless everyday when i walk into my new class. What opportunities do we actually have in the future to bond us together again?

My mind wanders around about life issues and i came to a realisation that at my age now, i hardly bothered to make friends. Is it because close friendships are difficult to forge at this age? Or is it because i have already sufficient close friends? Or could it be that i've somehow turned less sociable? Yeah, i really don't bother to make friends anymore, or to attempt inching closer in my current friendships. It's week four of school, and i think i can only remember 10 names in my new class of about 25 students?
What's happening to me.

Moving on to my closer friends, i have about ten of them. Four or five are my current school friends. Actually i'm more concerned about the rest whom i've spent years together with them. Embarrassingly, I can't even take time off to meet them nowadays. I can't forsee having any time for them next week, the week after next, or even next month, bearing in mind that i would lose them in time to come, yet i just could not find time...
They're constantly sieging me with meet-ups, while i'm the one shielding everything away.
Things happen for a reason, and sometimes they carry more than one in them. Is time a factor? When i have time, money comes into the situation. When i have time and money, family issues loom in.
Most of the time, the last situation doesn't come by simply because i don't even have time to begin with.


How do i address this? How would you address me?
I am the problem.





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To my close friends, i'm sincerely sorry. I'll try to sort things out soon. One thing i am glad about is that i really do think about each and every one of you every day, even for a moment, i do. I don't wanna lose any of you.

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To E, this has got nothing to do with you. Having you now, one year later or five years later would not have influenced this differently, I'd definitely get my female companion at one point in my life, be it now or later. I just need to get through this.
Thank you for being understanding and you are my amazement <3

Maybe it's time i update this rotting space.

FO's over for awhile. I enjoyed the camp, i love my GLS, i love my freshies and i don't regret shedding those tears for Ketsu. FO really makes me feel damn loved leh. but i feel i'm not a good GL...

Week 0, didn't have that impetus to chiong. Maybe suffering from the after effects of FO. siannnnn.

School started, missed my first opportunity to see my class last week, and if i miss another APEL of lesson, i've to retain. FML. Pray that i have a fun class please, albeit only for a semester.

Shag, school tomorrow. 11-7! wheee. SUCKS.

Nights,
love you bb.

10:40 AM now, and i haven't sleep yet.
SL camp's over and i almost died, 3 days 2 nights camp and i cti alr without proper sleep.
FOC/W 6 days 5 nights camp. HOW?

srsly i'm damn weak at this area. No 6 hours sleep per day = cui.
i can foresee my cui face alr. hahahaha.

SL camp was fun, but actually more dirty than fun.


Work tmr, and i haven't gym-ed for days. But at this timing i sleep idk if i can wake up to gym.
sigh ):


Sl camp over
FOC/W next week
Week 0 business orientation week aft next
School reopens in 3 weeks.
NAISE?

I've been really busy, out from my house every single day ever since the holidays started.
The good thing is, being busy really helps me to stop thinking about certain things.
The bad thing is, i'm really tired from everything.
It's the holidays and i can't even get sufficient sleep everyday. sighhh.

Results were out a few days back and i'm not quite sure of how i feel about my results. Certainly i'm glad because unexpectedly, i did well, to be honest it's better than my last sem's results. Last sem i studied a week or two before the exams and i got GPA 2.8, this sem i studied the night before each paper and i got 3. what the hell is going on?! i should've put in more effort man.

On another note, my disposable income has hit rockbottom this month. my pay was $56 because i only worked one shift last month. LOL.
Therefore chalets, birthdays are killing me. expenses>revenue gives me a deficit ):
ahhhh BO LUIIIII AH. i need to play more mj to earn $$$ HAHAH

MONDAY HERE I COMEEEEE.

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone

I've been searching on google for tips. Tips for a particular something (no not studies).
hahahha i'm too shy to say it out, doing it makes me secretly feel that i'm cute. HAHAH.


Let's see. Four papers down? Yeah sia. I almost can't count.
Stats and Marketing are both passable, I'm just damn afraid i'll fail POM, left 23 marks blank. Can't study means can't study, so old alr yet can't study, what to do.
On the other hand, today's Micrecons was good, first time leaving the exam venue with a smile on my face hahahah. Help me pray that i'll get an A for the paper, but i know my coursework's still gonna pull it down. oh wellll.
So, i'm left with Biz Accounting 2 tmr. CB that one the content i know about 10% only. And david just rang me up and asked if we wanna pon the exam tmr tgt. I'm damn tempted leh, it'll all depend on tonight's studying.

HOLIDAYS IN FIFTEEN HOURS
HOLIDAYS IN FIFTEEN HOURS
HOLIDAYS IN FIFTEEN HOURS

hahahahha okay bye!



You're too hot for me to handle,
but sometimes in life it's worth risking getting scalded.