Time flies when you are heavily involved everyday in your life and after sometime, you will feel that you have shortchanged yourself, in a way that you do not do enough in life to yield substantially and cover the time that has passed.
It gets worse when you slowly drift yourself away from things which are precious to you, you get busy until the extent that time gradually eats away those things from you and eventually, you lose them.
One of such things is friendship.

Recently, i've been in deep thoughts whenever i'm alone at home, during times when i'm trying to sleep, during times when i'm travelling, during times when i'm bored in class.
-Friendship.
I remember last week, it came to a point whichby i almost made a decision to take a break from everything.
I need to sort things out. I've gained happiness, but i'm losing friends.
Not just ordinary friends, i'm talking about close ones. For instance, my class clique, we've separated, we're drifting apart, and i'm spiritless everyday when i walk into my new class. What opportunities do we actually have in the future to bond us together again?

My mind wanders around about life issues and i came to a realisation that at my age now, i hardly bothered to make friends. Is it because close friendships are difficult to forge at this age? Or is it because i have already sufficient close friends? Or could it be that i've somehow turned less sociable? Yeah, i really don't bother to make friends anymore, or to attempt inching closer in my current friendships. It's week four of school, and i think i can only remember 10 names in my new class of about 25 students?
What's happening to me.

Moving on to my closer friends, i have about ten of them. Four or five are my current school friends. Actually i'm more concerned about the rest whom i've spent years together with them. Embarrassingly, I can't even take time off to meet them nowadays. I can't forsee having any time for them next week, the week after next, or even next month, bearing in mind that i would lose them in time to come, yet i just could not find time...
They're constantly sieging me with meet-ups, while i'm the one shielding everything away.
Things happen for a reason, and sometimes they carry more than one in them. Is time a factor? When i have time, money comes into the situation. When i have time and money, family issues loom in.
Most of the time, the last situation doesn't come by simply because i don't even have time to begin with.


How do i address this? How would you address me?
I am the problem.





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To my close friends, i'm sincerely sorry. I'll try to sort things out soon. One thing i am glad about is that i really do think about each and every one of you every day, even for a moment, i do. I don't wanna lose any of you.

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To E, this has got nothing to do with you. Having you now, one year later or five years later would not have influenced this differently, I'd definitely get my female companion at one point in my life, be it now or later. I just need to get through this.
Thank you for being understanding and you are my amazement <3